Chapter Zero
MOUSE POTATOES
Sparky: Excuse me, not trying to be too p.c.,
but I prefer the phrase "Internaut."
System
GREETER: Oh. Sorry.
INTERNAUTS
System
GREETER: "GhostWriter" has entered the room
Sparky: Hey Ace you idjit "ciao" isn't spelled with an "h"
Acid Ace: it is the way I spelli t
System
GREETER: "No2BatFan" has entered the room
No2BatFan: hey is this the chat about the new Batman movie?
AcidAce: what's the plural of chao
Sparky: oh I get it
System
GREETER: "Thelma" has entered the room
AcidAce: hi thelma
Sparky: hey
Thelma: hello
No2BatFan: is this chat about the new Batman movie?
Sparky: hey Ace did you bring the beer
Thelma: okay I give u p
AcidAce: you KNOW what I brought
Thelma: what is the plural of chao ?
AcidAce: chaos
Sparky: Chaos
System
GREETER: "2468" has entered the room
System
GREETER: "c2" has entered the room
AcidAce: hiya
Sparky: hey guys
Thelma: LOL
No2BatFan: I SAID, is this chat about the Batman movie?
AcidAce: no
Thelma: NO
Sparky: no
2468: Does everyone in this room know Jesus?
AcidAce: um, Ijust want to make sure everybody is
here for the Freedom Hall chat
Thelma: I AM
Sparky: c2: you here for freedom chat?
Thelma: I'M HAVING A HARD TIME FOLLOWING THIS
AcidAce: Thelma you still have caps lock on - it's
like your shouting at us
Thelma: sorry
c2: i m just watching
Thelma: I'm new to the net - bear with
AcidAce: hey, it's cool - we'll walk you through it, sister.
System
GREETER: "@*$#!!" has entered the room
Sparky: hey Lion is that you
AcidAce: this your first chat room, thelma?
@*$#!!: yup
No2BatFan: VENOM RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thelma: yeh - it's so confusing
AcidAce: You've just got to focus on one conversation and
ignore the rest
Sparky: {{{{{{{{{{{{{Lion}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Thelma: I've got a freind here coaching me on the lingo
AcidAce: you know "LOL" means "laugh out loud" - do you
know "LMAO"?
Thelma: laugh my ass off
AcidAce: how about "emoticons"?
Thelma: : )
@*$#!!: emoticons ar ethe language of the future - that's
why I use icons for my login name
Thelma: more like the past
@*$#!!: how so?
Thelma: to me, it seems like the cute garbate we used to
put on our notes when we were in jr high - harts
dotting the "i"s and all that shit -
AcidAce: Whaddaya know, I DID learn something useful in high
school } : ^ 0
Thelma: what use is punctuation without words?
@*$#!!: i read a long article about it in an online e-zine -
the language is still evolving + the pace is much
faster online - once everyone's online there'll be
quantum leaps in language and communication -
soon we wont NEED words
c2: that s not true
c2: internet is based on written language
c2: so written language will survive for millennia
@*$#!!: intersting idea - i'm not sure I agree
c2: all language preserved electronically thousands of
years after books have become sawdust
Thelma: The Internet will NEVER replace a good book.
@*$#!!: one day we will ALL be part of the net
Thelma: That's what scares me. : ^ )
c2: internet will save the world
c2: on computer disc
AcidAce: {{{{{{{{{{{{{Thelma}}}}}}}}}}}}}
AcidAce: ^^^^^you know what this is^^^^^
Thelma: no
AcidAce: an Internet hug
Thelma: {{{{{{{{{{{{{AcidAce}}}}}}}}}}}}}
@*$#!!: this is so sweet - pardon me while I hurl
Sparky: hey Ace I want you to meet a great kid smartest guy
I know - this is Lion (@*$#!!)
AcidAce: hi Lion
Sparky: we met at Wyoming Gathering in '94
@*$#!!: hi
AcidAce: I was there too, lion. welcome home, brother
AcidAce: {{{{{{{{{{{{{Lion}}}}}}}}}}}}}
@*$#!!: {{{{{{{{{{{{{Ace}}}}}}}}}}}}}
2468: For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom
against kingdom; and there shall be famines, and
pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
Matthew 24:7
@*$#!!: did you see the forest fire
AcidAce: SEE it? listen man, get together with me some time
I'll tell you things about that fire you never knew.
Sparky: Lion told me 5 years ago that the Internet was gonna
be bigger than Jesus
@*$#!!: it's a deal
AcidAce: lmao
2468: The First Commandment: Thou shalt have no other
gods before Me
AcidAce: I thought the Beatles were gonna be bigger
than Jesus
@*$#!!: well the internet's gonna be bigger than the beatles
No2BatFan: <<<<<<<<-----------BATMAN---------<<<<<|======+
Thelma: get real - nobody's gonna be bigger than the Beatles
2468: The Second Commandment: Thou shalt not make
unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of
any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in
the earth beneath, or that is in the water under
the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to
them, nor serve them.
Exodus 20:4-5
AcidAce: I think we hit a nerve
Thelma: that's some nerve all right
No2BatFan: Oh god this is'nt one of those religious sites is it
Sparky:
AcidAce: what is your name Thelma
2468:
Thelma: ALISON
Sparky:
2468:
AcidAce: HEY ALISON want a hit
Thelma: sure
AcidAce: I'll give you a shotgun
No2BatFan: I want one too
AcidAce: : ) -- ( :
Thelma: LMAO
@*$#!!: why "thelma," alison?
Thelma: Its my friend 's computer - she's a big fan of
"Thelma and Louise"
AcidAce: THELMA AND LOUISE LIVE!!!!!!
Thelma: Hey "Ace" - are you this cool in real life?
AcidAce: I'm cooler
@*$#!!: tell "louise" hi for us
AcidAce: better looking, too
Thelma: Dont get the wrong idea - your not exactly my type
AcidAce: oh
Thelma: "Louise" says hello
System
GREETER: "2468" has exited the room
Sparky: I'm back
AcidAce: Whither goest thou, Sparky?
Sparky: dueling Bible verses.
@*$#!!: Sparky can never resist a theological debate
Sparky: a little private convo with "2468" about the
difference between the Bible and bibliomancy
AcidAce: "bibliomancy"?
Sparky: ancient fortunetellers' trick - open a book
anywhere, read what it says and it will answer
your question
Thelma: my Dad used to do that with his Bible
Sparky: a lot of people did - it's a great means of
divination, especially with the Bible. But 2 many
modern Christians approach their faith the same way
- as if they can pick and choose God's word to
justify their actions, and ignore the overall message
of love. "2468" seems to be one of those
AcidAce: everybody, meet Sparky
Sparky: did I miss anything while I was gone?
AcidAce: we were just discussing the many names of Alison,
I mean "Thelma"
Sparky: Lion, did you ever notice that the only places where
people choose their own names are the Internet and
the Rainbow Gathering?
@*$#!!: names define identity + place in society - that's why
many women don't change their names when they get
married anymore - by choosing your own name, you're
redefining your identity on your own terms
c2: what is rainbow gathering
Sparky: Indians used to get names based on great battles
they'd won and so forth, didn't they? or is that
just a cultural stereotype?
@*$#!!: lots of cultures used to do that. the difference is
that other people usually chose those names.
choosing one's own name is unique as far as i know
c2: question mark
Sparky: Could it be the wave of the future? What does it all
mean?
@*$#!!: don't mean sheeeeit as mr. natural would say
AcidAce: hey batfan how come you're not no. 1?
No2BatFan: "No1BatFan" was already taken
Thelma: hey guys - "c2" wants to know what rainbow
gathering is
AcidAce: dopesmoking drumbeating weeklong hippie fest in the
woods
Sparky: A place wher people of all faiths can gather to
worship the One in their own ways. We are all the
rainbow - He is the Light.
@*$#!!: every July 4, 1000s of people gather in natl. forests
to party and pray for world peace. its been going on
almost 30 yrs. it happens in a different state each
year - sort of hard to describe - if yer on the web
check out www.welcomehome.org
Thelma: beautiful people, doing beautiful things
@*$#!!: "the last best hope for humanty" - oh wait,
that's babylon 5
c2: i see
AcidAce: hey Alison I get the feeling I've met you before
Thelma: I was just thinking the same thing. My friend
No2BatFan: @: babylon 5 is "The Last Best Hope for PEACE"
@*$#!!: same diff
Thelma: Maria would say that means something.
System
GREETER: "c2" has exited the room
AcidAce: Not "Mother" Maria?
Thelma: the same
AcidAce: r u with "mother maria's gypsy circus?"
Thelma: No, but I've broken bread wit htthem.
AcidAce: well FAR FREAKIN OUT!!!!
AcidAce: do you know Harlan?
Thelma: I'm not sure
AcidAce: Harlan + Sparky are pals
System
GREETER: "2468" has entered the room
2468: Sparky I will pray for you
@*$#!!: oh Jesus he's back
Sparky: please do, we could all use a little prayer
2468: you need to see the light
AcidAce: hey Alison you 2 batfan and EVERYGODY you
areinvited
2468: the loving light of Jesus Christ
No2BatFan: hey @ - which do you like better bablyon 5 or DS9
@*$#!!: that's it - i'm outta here
System
GREETER: "@*$#" has exited the room
Sparky: of course He loves me the question is do YOU
AcidAce: to Freedom Hall in Texas for the
Sparky: and if you don't you need to aks yourself why
AcidAce: 1999 Rainbow Gathering
Sparky: He can love me but you can't?
2468: Why do you blaspheme God with your lies?
Sparky: lies? I was reading from the Bible!
AcidAce: Alison make sure you tell Mother Maria - she can bring
the whole freakin' circus if she wants
Thelma: is that private land?
2468: You better be thinking very very seriously about your
afterlife, Sparky. I know I am. The Lord God does not
forgive blasphemy.
AcidAce: VERY private. If you need directions, you can check
my website at
AcidAce: https://members.tripod.com/~angelheaded/index.html
Sparky: Ace, I better go before 2468 gets out her .357. bbl
2468: How does it feel knowing God will never forgive you?
I really want to know.
System
GREETER: "Sparky" has exited the room
No2BatFan: i'm gone too guys. C ya
System
GREETER: "No2BatFan" has exited the room
Thelma: me too
AcidAce: thelma! wait!
System
GREETER: "Thelma" has exited the room
System
GREETER: "AcidAce" has exited the room
2468: Does anyone else here want to know about teh loving
light of Jesus?
System
GREETER: "2468" has exited the room
Ghost Writer: so this is how it begins.
# # #
23Al: You have been reading
.angelheaded hipsters and visionary tics
an online novel by Alan Rankin
(c) 1997 Alan Rankin